The first memory I have of him- of anything, really is his strength. It was in the late afternoon in a house under construction near ours. The unfinished wood floor had large, terrifying holes whose big and opening darkness I knew led to nowhere good. His powerful hands,then age 33, wrapped all the way around my tiny arms, then age 4, and easily swung me up to his shoulders to command all I surveyed.
The relationship between a son and his father changes over time. It may grow and flourish in mutual maturity. It may sour in hated dependence or independence. With many children living in single-parent homes today, it may not even exist.
But to a little boy right after World War II, a father seemed a god with strange strengths and strange powers enabling him to do and know things that no mortal could do or know. Amazing things, like putting a bicycle chain back on,just like that. Or building a hamster cage. Or guiding a Jigsaw so it forms the letter F: I learned the alphabet that way in those pre-television days.
There were, of course, rules to learn. First came the handshake. None of those cold little finger grips, but a good firm squeeze accompanied by an equally strong gaze into the other’s eyes. "The first thing anyone knows about you is your handshake , ’he would say. And we’ d practice it each night on his return from work, the serious toddler in the battered Cleveland Indian’s cap running up to the giant father to shake hands again and again until it was firm enough.
我对他的第一印象—一对他的任何事情的第一印象,说真的——是他的力量。在一个下午的晚些时候,在我家附近的工地上,那尚未完工的木制地板张着它那巨大恐怖的黑糊糊的.嘴,给人以不祥之预感。父亲时年33岁,他用他那有力的双手抱起了4岁的我,把我放在他的肩膀上,让我岛瞰一切。
父子之间的关系随着时间的变化而变化。它可以在父子间共同的成熟过程中发展深化,也会在充满怨恨的不独立或独立的过程中变坏。由于现今社会许多孩子生活在单亲家庭中,父子关系甚至可能不存在了。
但对于一个生活在二战刚结束时的男孩来说,父亲好像是神,他的神奇的力量和超凡的能力使他知晓一切,能做一切事,这是一般常人所办不到的,像重新给自行车装上链条或做一个仓鼠笼子或教我玩拼图玩具拼出一个字母“F”这类奇妙的事,在那个没有电视机的时代,我就是以这种方式来学习字母的。
当然,还有一些做人的道理要学。首先是握手。握手不是那种冷冰冰的手指相握,而是一种强有力的握手,同时坚定有力地注视对方。他会说,“人们首先是通过与你握手来了解你的。”每天晚上下班回来,我们练习握手。严肃认真的刚会走路的小孩头戴一顶破克利夫兰印第安帽,踉踉跄跄地奔向威武高大的父亲,与他一次又一次地握手,直至握得坚定有力。
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