人生的B面作文

2018-05-20 人生

　　人生的B面

　　大卫·芬奇电影里最让我难忘的一个镜头，是《返老还童》中如婴儿般的本杰明·巴顿在襁褓中慢慢睡去。白色的婴儿床慢慢低下去，整个房间飘逸朦胧，透明柔软的窗帘飘起，带来暖和的阳光，像晨曦，又像是暮光。这个在睡梦中死去的婴儿，已经87岁。

　　在耄耋之年能够如婴儿般毫无折磨地死去，是电影中人才能体验到的幸福。现实生活远非如此。多数老年人在生命的最后时刻，体验到的往往是亲人疏离、朋友散佚的痛苦，让旁观者心有戚戚。中国明朝抗倭领袖徐渭晚年以卖画为生，死时仅有一狗相伴；撒切尔夫人在国际政坛上叱咤风云，死后儿子拒绝参加她的葬礼；马龙·白兰度两度荣获奥斯卡金像奖最佳男主角，是美国电影史上的传奇，但是晚年没有一个子女认他，出来演戏还因为肥胖被观众嘲笑，最终死于肺功能衰竭。一个人年轻时再受欢迎、事业再成功，也无法保证一个平静安宁的晚年。老，意味着你将看到人生的残酷B面。后来，我们逐渐了解到撒切尔夫人因对权力的热衷疏于照顾孩子，患有老年痴呆的父亲年轻时动辄打骂妻女，老母亲从小偏心儿子嫌弃女儿……但我

　　们仍然从心理上觉得他们应该被原谅，被善待。原因只有一条——他们老了。年老有时成为一种可以超越善恶是非的特权。

　　到了六十岁之后，你拥有的特权是：你在年轻时所做的一切成就或罪行，都变得不再那么重要。尤其是你曾经犯过的那些错误，在晚辈人的眼里变得可以被宽恕，可以得到谅解。在某种意义上，你重新回到青少年时期——即，你可以不用再对自己以前的行为负责。

　　年龄，淡化了人们的动机和行为。看到老人，你看到的是老年斑，苍苍白发，拿着筷子不停颤抖的双手：以及佝偻的不断往前倾的身子骨。就像看到刚出生的婴儿一样，你控制不住地想要去保护他们。

　　写下《返老还童》这个神奇故事的菲茨·杰拉德其实在暗示我们，步入老年，等于重新成为婴儿。你在享受被保护被原谅的特权的同时，你的思想和情感都不再受到足够重视。

　　我们经常听到有儿女公开指责老年丧偶后的父母晚年再次嫁娶，你年纪都这么大了还折腾什么？或是阻止要参加老年旅行团的父母，万一要是在路上出了什么事怎么办，还不如在家里种种花儿看看电视！最后再补上一句，倒不是心疼钱。老，被最大限度地剥夺了自主权和行动意志。

　　这还不算什么。最近这几年，不赡养老人甚至虐待老人的新闻时有发生。这些儿女们之所以敢这么做，除了毫无人伦道德之外，还在于他们在周遭的环境中获得的一种认识——人老了失去了行动思维的能力，也就等同于毫无情感知觉的动物。在他们眼里，那些搬着小板凳在院子里晒太阳的老头老太太，和阳光下眯着眼睛假寐的猫狗一样，毫无区别。

　　那些把父母当牲口圈养的人，也不是没有可能被自己的子女同样对待，那些把四肢健全意识清醒的父母送进养老院的儿女们，也会有被扔在空无一人的家里的那一天，没人逃得过。年轻时越风光，年老时越落寞。所以在某种意义上，失忆，对于老年人来说实际是一种情感解脱。

　　一个人从年轻到年老，会从巅峰慢慢走向谷底。为了能够比较轻柔缓和地落地，需要提前做很多准备。资本的，金钱的，尤其是心理上的——得能接受从巅峰到落寞的落差。每个人刚出生时，都曾被父母温柔对待，在婴儿车里度过那些没有意识的甜蜜岁月；当父母老的时候，也把他们当作我们的孩子，不要让他们孤独，让这些经历了坎坷、挫折的老婴儿们在最后的时光里，憩息在回忆的温柔地带

　　The wholeness of life 健全的人生

　　Once a circle missed a wedge. The circle wanted to be whole, so it went around looking for its missing piece. But because it was incomplete and therefore could roll only very slowly, it admired the flowers along the way. It chatted with worms. It enjoyed the sunshine. It found lots of different pieces, but none of them fit. So it left them all by the side of the road and kept on searching. Then one day the circle found a piece that fit perfectly. It was so happy. Now it could be whole, with nothing missing. It incorporated the missing piece into itself and began to roll. Now that it was a perfect circle, it could roll very fast, too fast to notice flowers or talk to the worms. When it realized how different the world seemed when it rolled so quickly, it stopped, left its found piece by the side of the road and rolled slowly away.

　　The lesson of the story, I suggested, was that in some strange sense we are more whole when we are missing something. The man who has everything is in some ways a poor man. He will never know what it feels like to yearn, to hope, to nourish his soul with the dream of something better. He will never know the experience of having someone who loves him give him something he has always wanted or never had.

　　There is a wholeness about the person who has come to terms with his limitations, who has been brave enough to let go of his unrealistic dreams and not feel like a failure for doing so. There is a wholeness about the man or woman who has learned that he or she is strong enough to go through a tragedy and survive, she can lose someone and still feel like a complete person.

　　Life is not a trap set for us by God so that he can condemn us for failing. Life is not a spelling bee, where no matter how many words you’ve gotten right; you’re disqualified if you make one mistake. Life is more like a baseball season, where even the best team loses one third of its games and even the worst team has its days of brilliance. Our goal is to win more games than we lose.

　　When we accept that imperfection is part of being human, and when we can continue rolling through life and appreciate it, we will have achieved a wholeness that others can only aspire to. That, I believe, is what God asks of us—not “Be perfect”, not “Don’t even make a mistake”, but “Be whole.”

　　If we are brave enough to love, strong enough to forgive, generous enough to rejoice in another’s happiness, and wise enough to know there is enough l

　　ove to go around for us all, then we can achieve a fulfillment that no other living creature will ever know.

　　从前，一只圆圈缺了一块楔子。它想保持完整，便四处寻找那块楔子。由于不完整，所以它只能慢慢地滚动。一路上，它对花儿露出羡慕之色。它与蠕虫谈天侃地。它还欣赏到了阳光之美。圆圈找到了许多不同的楔子，但没有一件与它相配。所以，它将它们统统弃置路旁，继续寻觅。终于有一天，它找到了一个完美的配件。圆圈是那样地高兴，现在它可以说是完美无缺了。它装好配件，并开始滚动起来。现在它已成了一个完美的圆圈，所以滚动得非常快，以至于难以观赏花儿，也无暇与蠕虫倾诉心声。当圆圈意识到因快奔急骋使它失去了原有的世界时，它不禁停了下来，将找到的配件弃置路旁，又开始慢慢地滚动。

　　我觉得这个故事告诉我们，从某种奇妙的意义上讲，当我们失去了一些东西时反而更加完整。一个拥有一切的人其实在某些方面是个穷人。他永远也体会不到什么是渴望、期待及如何用美好梦想滋养自己的灵魂。他也永远不会有这样一种体验：一个爱他的人送给他某种他梦寐以求的或者从未拥有过的东西意味着什么。

　　人生的完整性在于知道如何面对缺陷，如何勇敢地摒弃不现实的幻想而又不以此为缺憾。人生的完整性还在于学会勇敢面对人生悲剧而继续生存，能够在失去亲人后依然表现出完整的个人风范。

　　人生不是上帝为谴责我们的缺陷而给我们布下的陷阱。人生也不是一场拼字游戏比赛，不管你拼出多少单词，一旦出现了一个错误，你便前功尽弃。人生更像是一个棒球赛季，即使最好的球队也会输掉1/3的比赛，而最差的球队也有春风得意的日子。我们的目标就是多赢球，少输球。

　　当我们接受不完整性是人类本性的一部分，当我们不断地进行人生滚动并能欣赏其价值时，我们就会获得其他人仅能渴望的完整人生。我相信这就是上帝对我们的要求：不求“完美”，也不求“永不犯错误”，而是求得人生的“完整”。如果我们能够勇敢地去爱，坚强地去宽容，大度地去为别人的快乐而高兴，明智地理解身边充满爱，那么我们就能取得别的生物所不能取得的成就。

　　Find Your Big Rocks Of Life 寻找你人生的大石头

　　One day, an expert in time management was speaking to a group of students and, to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget.

　　As he stood in front of the group of overachievers he said, “OK, time for a quiz.” He pulled out a one-gallon, wide-mouth jar and set it on the table in front of him. He also produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, “Is this jar full?”

　　Everyone in the class yelled, “Yes.” The time management expert replied, “Really?” He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. He dumped some gravel in and shook the jar, causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the spaces between the big rocks. He then asked the group once more, “Is this jar full?”

　　By this time the class was on to him. “Probably not,” one of them answered. “Good!” he replied. He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in the jar and it went into all of the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question, “Is this jar full?”

　　“No!” the class shouted. Once again he said, “Good.” Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked at the class and asked, “What is the point of this illustration?” One eager student raised his hand and said, “The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more things in it!”

　　“No,” the speaker replied, “that’s not the point. The truth this illustration teaches us is if you don’t put the big rocks in first, you’ll never get them in at all. What are the ‘big rocks’ in your life? Time with your loved ones, your education, your dreams, a worthy cause, teaching or mentoring others? Remember to put these big rocks in first or you’ll never get them in at all.”

　　一天，时间管理专家为一群学生讲课。他现场做了演示，给学生们留下了一生都难以磨灭的印象。

　　站在那些高智商高学历的学生前面，他说：“我们来做个小测验”，拿出一个一加仑的广口瓶放在他面前的桌上。随后，他取出一堆拳头大小的石块，仔细地一起放进玻璃瓶里。直到石块高出瓶口，再也放不下了，他问道：“瓶子满了？”

　　所有学生应道：“满了！”时间管理专家反问：“真的？”他伸手从桌下拿出一桶砾石，倒了一些进去，并敲击玻璃瓶壁使砾石填满下面石块的间隙。“现在瓶子满了吗？”他第二次问道。

　　但这一次学生有些明白了，“可能还没有”，一位学生应道。“很好！”专家说。他伸手从桌下拿出一桶沙子，开始慢慢倒进玻璃瓶。沙子填满了石块和砾石的所有间隙。他又一次问学生：“瓶子满了吗？”

　　“没满！”学生们大声说。他再一次说：“很好！”然后他拿过一壶水倒进玻璃瓶直到水面与瓶口齐平，然后抬头看着学生，问道：“这个例子说明什么？”一个心急的学生举手发言：“无论你的时间多少，如果你确实努力，你可以做更多的事情！”<BR

　　“不！”时间管理专家说，“那不是它真正的意思，这个例子告诉我们：如果你不是先放大石块，那你就再也不能把它放进瓶子里了。那么，什么是你生命中的大石头呢？也许是你的道德感、你的梦想？还有你的一切，记得先去处理这些大石块，否则，一辈子你都不能做！”

　　Life Is a Cup of Coffee 生活是杯咖啡

　　即使一个人拥有渊博的知识，良好的修养，文明的举止，优雅的谈吐，但如果缺少了博大的胸怀以及一颗充满爱的心灵，那么他一定不会活得足够潇洒漂亮！

　　生在这个矛盾世间，无论是达官显贵，还是一介平民，每个人的一生都必然经历种种的坎坷甚至不幸。这种种的坎坷或者不幸，无非是一些爱呀、恨呀、情呀、愁呀等等。而人世间的一切爱、恨、情、愁都有一定的时间限度，时间能够清除一切。只要时间一到，一切都会消失得无影无踪。当然，这时间有一个长短问题，时间的长短则由个人的心灵的宽窄度所决定。

　　心灵宽的人，所有的一切得到释然的时间自然就短，心灵窄的人，所有的一切得到释然的时间也必然长。但就在这长短之间，上演了更多的人生悲喜剧。

　　人海茫茫，恩怨情仇终能相遇，生活不易，在竞争激烈、各种利益关系交错的社会中生活的每个人，都有伤害与被伤害的可能，俗话说：冤冤相报何时了？为什么不能将一切止于自己呢？人性中善恶并存，人难道真的是向恶不从善吗？

　　情爱是暖火，温暖了别人也温暖了自己；仇恨是烈火，燃烧了别人也烧灭了自己。

　　阿萨吉奥利曾说：“如果没有宽恕之心，生命就会被无休止的仇恨和报复所支配。”还有一位哲学家说：“有一颗体谅他人的心，就仿佛获得一把钥匙，它能开启未来闭着的大门。”

　　普济寺里有一个年近百岁的老禅师，许多人有什么解不开的难题，

　　都会去向这位老禅师请教。

　　某天，一个内心充满仇恨的人来到普济寺，他想向老禅师请教“为什么自己从来都没有开心过”。

　　此人正要踏进老禅师打坐念经的禅房，却发现自己脚边有个像袋子似的东西，虽然块头很小，可是看起来却是气鼓鼓的。他感到很奇怪，就抬起脚来，猛地向那东西踩去，可是那东西不但没有被踩破，反而迅速地膨胀起来。这个人一看到这种景象，犟脾气一下子就上来了，他随手抄起放在禅房门口的一根木棒向那个和他一样“气鼓鼓”的东西使劲儿砸去，到最后，那东西已经膨胀得将整条通往禅房的路都给堵死了。

　　这时候老禅师出来了，他对那个前来求教的人说：“快停止吧，此物叫做仇恨袋，里面装着你的仇恨，你不搭理它，它便如刚才一般大小，但一旦你要侵犯它，它便会膨胀起来，与你对抗到底。远离它，忘记它，它便伤害不了你了。”

　　那个正在发怒的人听了老禅师的话，如醍醐灌顶，他对老禅师说：“感谢你，我以前每天总是生活在仇恨之中，所以我从来没有开心过，现在我终于找到答案了。”

　　人生最大的智慧是心灵的宽度。一个人的'心有多大，他的舞台就会有多大！他脚下的路就会有多宽！一个人一生的成就决不会超过他心灵的宽度！在这个复杂的社会上要想获得智慧，有一个最基本的品质，那就是把心尽量的放宽。

　　一个人只有带着宽广的心灵上路，才能够走得更远，从

　　人生旅程中获得的也会更多。即使不幸刚刚降临在他身上，让他觉得无路可走，但只要他抬起脚，哪怕踏上的是一条荆棘遍布的羊肠小道，那天上鸟的欢畅、路边野花的绽放，也能让他感到希望。即使是四周一片白雪皑皑，但他也能闻到雪底下春天的气息。脚下的路自然就会越走越宽广。而心胸狭窄的人，所面临的只能是悬崖。

　　在生活中我们感到有些人似乎带有一些阴气，总令你不寒而栗，总想离他（她）远一点；有些人你即使想说服自己接受，但感觉始终让你对他（她）充满警惕。原因很简单，正常人无法接受心理扭曲心态失衡的人，他们反感这类人，不屑也根本不愿意与他们交往。

　　其实，斤斤计较，睚眦必报的人有时也想轻松畅快地与人交流，但其骨子里时不时漏出的报复浊气，令人望而生畏。当报复心驾驭了人的灵魂时，人就无法自己。从这一刻起，报复者就自己为自己判了无期徒刑。在这种情势之下，报复者就只有一种选择就是选择孤独，直至悲哀地死去。在众人的眼中，假如往好一点说，也就是落得个“哀其不幸，怒其不争”而已。

　　真正的幸福来自快乐的心灵。只有心灵宽广的人，在你的眼角眉梢都洋溢着由衷的幸福。狭窄的心灵永远开不出幸福的花朵。周国平曾经说过：“人，来自于泥土，而最终归于泥土”。世间万物都最终要落入大地，一切的爱恨、贪欲、喧嚣、繁华、浮躁都只是过眼云烟，生命的本质是安静的也是丰富的，更是偶然的，何必让他在迷乱的旋涡中倒行逆施

　　Life Is a Cup of Coffee 生活是杯咖啡

　　Group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. The conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and in life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

　　When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said,“If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

　　What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and were eyeing each other’s cups.

　　Now consider this: Life is the coffee and the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and do not change the quality of Life. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided. So, don’t let the cups drive you ... enjoy the coffee instead.”

　　一群毕业生，各自的事业都已有所建树，相约一起去看望他们的大学教授。谈话一会儿就变成了各自对工作生活压力的抱怨。教授去厨房端来一大壶咖啡招待这些客人，拿出各式各样的咖啡杯——陶瓷的、塑料的、玻璃的、水晶的，有普通的、有价值不菲的、有做工精致的——让他们自己挑。

　　当所有学生手中都拿了咖啡杯之后，教授发话了：“如果你们注意一下，就可以发现所有好看的贵的杯子都给挑走了，剩下的只是那些普通的和便宜的。当然，每个人都想给自己挑到那个最好的，这很正常，但这也正是你们的问题和压力根源之所在。

　　其实你们真正想要的是咖啡，而不是杯子，但你们却又都下意识去挑选最好的杯子，并观察别人拿到的杯子。

　　试想：如果生活是杯中的咖啡，工作、财富和社会地位就是那些杯子。它们只是维持生活的工具而已，并不改变生活质量。有时候，我们在过于关注杯子的同时却忘了去品味上帝赐予的咖啡。所以，不要成为杯子的奴隶……好好地享受品味杯中的咖啡。”

　　Five Balls Of Life 生命中的五个球

　　In a university commencement address several years ago, Brian Dyson, CEO of Coca Cola Ent-erprises, spoke of the relation of work to one’s other commitments:

　　Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them work, family, health, friends and spirit and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back.

　　But the other four balls family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life. How?

　　Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.

　　Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.

　　Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as they would be your life, for without them, life is meaningless.

　　Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.

　　Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

　　Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us to each together.

　　Don’t be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

　　Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give it; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

　　Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you’ve been, but also where you are going.

　　Don’t forget, a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.

　　Don’t be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.

　　Don’t use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved.

　　Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

　　Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery and Today is a gift: that’s why we call it ‘The Present’.

　　几年前，在一所大学的开幕典礼中,可口可乐的首席执行官布赖恩·戴森讲到工作与其他义务的关系：

　　想象生命是一场不停丢掷五个球于空中的游戏。这五个球分别为工作、家庭、健康、朋友和心灵，而且你很努力地掷着这五个球，不让它们落地。很快地你会了解工作是一个橡皮球。如果你不幸失手落下它，它还是会弹回来。

　　但是家庭、健康、朋友和心灵这四个球是用玻璃做成的。一旦你失手落下，它们可能会少了一角，留下无法挽回的记号、刻痕、损坏甚至碎落一地。它们将永远不会跟以前一样。你必须了解这个道理，并且为平衡你的生命而努力。但要怎么才做得到呢？

　　别拿自己和他人比较，这只会降低了你原有的价值。因为我们都是独一无二的，因为我们每一个人都很特别。

　　别人认为重要的事不一定是你的目标。只有你才知道什么最适合你。

　　不要将贴近你的心的人、事物视为理所当然的存在。你必须将他们视为你的生命一般好好地抓牢他们。没有他们，生命将失去意义。